Detective Files: The Murtuza Exposee

It had been 2 years since I left Parle G's COET, two years since I had worked on any case. Much had changed in two years!! Due to lack of work in investigation field, people had changed professions...RB-85 along with the G Man, Qazi Barve(taken up the profession of part time pole dancer) had left the country for higher specialization. Tatya Chinchu got into the IIT, the AL-Makrande was in Bajaj!! Most of them had said Tata to Tata. Ballack was certified FAcoach.Khairya had become the Disco Man while KAA-Tea , well didn't have much info about him.
Me being bankrupt, had returned to Nashik.Jobless I decided to start my work again. To get back my reputation I had to find out the real identity of Murtuza!!!The same Murtuza who had terrorised everyone with his foul language and evil Deeds...I knew that if I found out who Murtuza was then I will be in business.
But I needed a rich financer, who had the same views as mine. I knew exactly who would finance me--- UV Kelkar---
He gave me one gony full of 1000 rs notes on one condition: he wanted to be a part of investigation team.

And thus began the second phase of my career.

It was a very dangerous case full of danger, deceit, seduction and risk!It was a case where I couldn't trust anyone, not even RB-85,Mandrake , UV Kelkar or not even myself.Anyone could be Murtuza!!I knew that while investigating this case, many dark secrets will be revealed.
It was time to change my approach. Instead of identifying the suspects directly, I first decided to identify the victims, the possible reason behind the verbal attack on the victim, and the possible suspects based on the type of attack,motives and the degree of attack.

Major Victim : Khatik Khokle(in the picture): The most annoying person in Parle-G's COET. Rumoured of having a Live in relationship with Bandya Bury-Swallow.Had made several of enemies in all branches due to his Mind Blowing(Boom) personality !!! His enemies grew at a rate faster than the birth rate of Porkistan(Read Pakistan)

Suspect 1.1: Bandya Bury-Swallow: Had a motive- wanted to remove all his frustration but since Khatik being his live in partner, couldn't get his frustration out. So foul mouthed by keeping his secrecy in form of Murtuza.Also the use of word "Khujur" made him the prime suspect. Also was angry at football team members as he didn't get a chance to be a part of football team.(also a prime suspect in injuring and fracturing The Disco Man and scaring away Kaa-Tea from football, thus craeting 2 vacant positions). Also a hate community was created against AL-Mandrake, could be a result of AL Mandrake questioning his knowledge about AakShee Milan.

Suspect 1.2: Kaa-Tea: Was jealous of the Live in relationship between Khatik and Bandya, and this fact was not hidden. Most people believed that Kaa-Tea was Murtuza. That unique abusive words added fuel in the fire. Cinchi the Vinchi was also one of the victims and Kaa Tea was famous at taking digs at him and PP.

Suspect 1.3: The Disco Dancers (The Disco Man and the Qazi Barve) : When Bandya and Kaa Tea are involved you cannot discard the disco dancers. They worked together on the princiPAL(Kedar Godbole) enemies enemy is my friend.Also with Disco man's Networks in Sanfrancisco, the Dancer had got many lucarative and private pole dance projects. Also Bandya and Kaa-Tea had made fun of Disco Man's failed attempts to seduce the lesbian girl from electronics department.The real targets being Kaa Tea and Bandya Khatik was a pawn. Other people being abused was just a distraction.

Suspect 1.4: All Electrical People including the likes of Shemanshu Pinghania,SPK,Sunaiya Chawre, Nene, Chandrashekhar Kumbhar:
They had suffered the most of Khatik's torture. So had every reason to abuse Khatik. They say a goat doesn't gain weight when it has butcher's knife everyday in front of it. Same was the effect on electrical people. Even the likes of Brahme,Sunaiya and Andy Khedlekar had lost weight...infact Andy lost his stamina to drink Thums-Up.After Khatik's brilliant performance as a playmaker in interclass college SPK had become jealous of him.Nene was a suspect too because he hated Khatik a lot and had dreams of murdering Khatik!!Shemanshu was a suspect because I simply hated that guy.

Suspect 1.5: AL-Makrande: Was of the opinion that the way drawing of Puppet's Cartoon is banned, Khatik should also be banned from speaking a single word. Khatik's existence itself contradicted with his interpretation of Kuu-Ran being good.The community created against him can just be a plan to take suspicion away from him....Since Murtuza also abused me, AL Makrande had become a major suspect in my as well as UV's eyes;Al Makrande being psuedo-secular while we being Hindutva Vadi.

Suspect 1.6: The Skate Maestro: Also known as the Single Quote Killer, I spared none.Since this case was of utmost importance as I previously said, I couldn't trust even myself. Yes I was also one of the main suspects. Motive behind abusing Khatik? Not many know that I hated Khatik even before seeing his face. In the first year, when I was the captain of A division's cricket team, Khatik had spread the rumor that A-team had given a bye when the reality was that the match had been postponed. There was a revolt led by Shemanshu(who wanted to be the captain) whom I had kicked out of the team earlier. I had to crush this revolt. Khatik would have to pay the price in the future. Which he did!!!!For all four years it remained a mystery to Khatik about who had coined the term Khatik Khokle: It was me...who had made him famous as the most annoying guy, the most boring person in Parle-G which was unanimously accepted by everyone: It was me!!Who had leaked the information about the scandal between Khatik and Bandya?: It was me.Who was the mastermind behind Khatik losing the EESA elections? It was me(@Disco Man: Ata ahe ka cartman honyachi layki majhi?) .So it was highly possible that just to extend my revenge I could be Murtuza.

Suspect 1.7: Gelatin Bhibhishan(From E&TC): When I had made it public that I am going to investigate on the real identity of Murtuza, the first person to like it on Facebook was Gelatin Bhibhishan, this created a doubt in my mind. Already jealous of Kaa-Tea and Disco Man as Wadia Gupta had joined them both in their project group, Gelatin was rumoured to have an affair with the Black Demonic Dukkar from IT.Though they both made a perfect couple, they had managed to keep it a secret. Pitmax had confirmed that these rumours were true on one condition that his identity be kept a secret.After investigating into this matter, I found out that Khatik was blackmailing Gelatin. He had some compromising photos of the black demonic dukkar and Gelatin together.

Suspect 1.8: PP: No 1 enemy of KAA-TEA. According to KAA-TEA, she resembled Magica The Witch from Duck Tales. It was no seceret that they both hated each other. Also since majority of the public abused by Murtuza were from E&TC , she could be the one.Also as I was abused, I knew she hated me for the match report on Parle-G's COET vs COE-PP(Mirchi lagli ka) incident.

Suspect 1.9: Phuskar Dudhal: An outsider, who had nothing to do with Parle-G!!!But still had the motives.He supported Inter Milan, Bandya Supported A C Milan. Guys like Darya Danger and Chinchi da Vinchi had made fun of Dudhal when he was in School..Revenge time!! Paul Octopus has predicted that Dudhal is the nemesis of AL-Makrande

(To be continued....In the next issue, the identity of Murtuza is revealed, will it be someone from the above suspects or will it be some different person..)